tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post924015906008570772..comments2024-03-28T12:12:29.813-07:00Comments on The Burrow: ParentingAshleigh Burroughshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05790757220725900941noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-78789144273614326672013-01-03T22:18:25.773-07:002013-01-03T22:18:25.773-07:00I needed this today, well, this week. Thank you! I needed this today, well, this week. Thank you! Karinanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-10416745185642464862013-01-03T16:47:53.820-07:002013-01-03T16:47:53.820-07:00Thanks AB. I was going to come back and delete my ...Thanks AB. I was going to come back and delete my post because I felt like I was whining. But you are right. It is sympathy and not empathy. How can a three year old feel empathy? Sympathetic, yes, but empathy, no. I always think of empathy as a step beyond sympathy and feeling/relating to others. I was just looking up the differences and they share traits, but they also are different on an emotional level. Sympathy essentially implies a feeling of recognition of another's suffering while empathy is actually sharing another's suffering, if only briefly or having an understanding because one has walked in that other person's shoes. <br /><br />At three, there is no way for him to be empathetic, but I can keep trying to show him kindness and love towards others. I think what the director is trying to say is that he doesn't understand that he's hurting other kids or being naughty by not listening. What's annoying about the place is even if he's naughty, I've asked them to discipline him and they will not. They say they are not allowed. They are only allowed to "redirect". It's no wonder he keeps doing what he's doing. If he's naughty at home, there are consequences. At school, there are none. I don't know what she expects me to do. And I just keep getting the comment that there is something wrong with him. All of my friends that know him, say he's just being a boy. He can be rough and tumble, but also very, very loving. He loves to snuggle. At school, he pushes and shoves other kids, but they just let him get away with it. And I'm somehow the bad mom. It's like she expects him to just be perfect and not be a three year old. My one friend who has three boys and one girl, says it has been her experience that some day cares are trying to make boys act like girls--in that they want them to be passive, play in a corner and be quiet. My little man is nothing like this. I can say that because I have two girls and he's completely different. A boy through and through. I'm not excusing him being aggressive, but I feel like she's saying it's all my fault. I'm one of the most non-aggresive people one could meet. We are careful about letting our kids watch overly aggressive movies or play Wii games that have a lot of aggressive action. <br /><br />Anyway, hubby keeps telling me to relax about it. We are looking at other schools tomorrow. Cross your fingers everything goes well. I'm even taking him to the doctor to make sure there isn't anything physically wrong with him. <br /><br />Thanks for the encouragement too. <br /><br /><br />Megan xxxMShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02622415628314992252noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-59170401832494490652013-01-03T15:24:17.268-07:002013-01-03T15:24:17.268-07:00Yes, you are a complete failure as a mother. It&#...Yes, you are a complete failure as a mother. It's obvious. NOT!! Perhaps there is something askew with your kid, but empathy is not usually exhibited until age 8-10. Sympathy, kindness, but not empathy. They still haven't separated from you, let alone found themselves, let alone be capable of feeling for others.<br /><br />HUGS<br />a/bAshleigh Burroughshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05790757220725900941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2546626959391412613.post-34230904745010093942013-01-03T08:47:49.242-07:002013-01-03T08:47:49.242-07:00I'm having one of those moments when I feel li...I'm having one of those moments when I feel like a failure as a parent. I'm having issues with my three year-old's day care. From the director, "He's lacking empathy and lashes out at others". Empathy is learned and sometimes a three year-old hasn't grasped that yet. We are working on it, but to be treated like my child is some deranged mad man, really upsets me. <br /><br />I do tell my children to treat others how they want to be treated. I try to show empathy in everything I do. I am kind to others and to my family and yet, I'm still not getting through to him. And to have the director tell me that there is something wrong with my child because of it, is quite upsetting. <br /><br />I'm feeling like a complete failure as a mother and I don't know what to do about it. Your post couldn't have been timed better. I'm just not certain what I'm doing wrong. :(<br /><br />Thanks for listening. <br /><br /><br />Megan xxxMShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02622415628314992252noreply@blogger.com